Misery Needs Company

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37 Week Bump

I must admit, it has been a difficult week. Sleeping well is now an impossibility. Beware, this is where I get to whine a bit. Okay, maybe a lot. But I gotta tell the story!

I have edema in my hands, wrists, feet and ankles. Yes, I’m that swollen pregnant woman now! Ick. The heels of my feet are hard and achy and it’s exhaustingly painful to stand in place for even just a few minutes. No waiting in line at the grocery store for me. My hands are tight and I have little sausage fingers! (Gross.) I may have a bit of carpal tunnel too as they are sore constantly.

It wouldn’t be so troublesome but for the fact that my arms and hands become numb and tingly when I lie down in nearly any position, so I can’t sleep or rest comfortably. Thankfully, after many sleepless nights, I was able to sleep in three blocks of about three hours each last night, although only on my back, neck straight up and arms spread out—about the most uncomfortable sleeping position for me. I must have been just too tired to NOT sleep. Still, when I woke up, my left arm and hand was all numb and tingly, and it took about 45 minutes of icing and stretching before the sensation went away.

Frankly, I’m totally miserable. I can’t believe I might have to do this for a few more weeks. Omg.

I’m at my wit’s end with every day being such a struggle. I’m drinking tons of lemon water, a homemade “sports drink” (water, maple syrup, orange juice and salt), and store-bought chocolate milk (seems to be most helpful actually) to fight off the edema. All those fluids aren’t making it better, but I think they are keeping the pain from getting worse.

And here I thought I would have the last few weeks to take care of a few final things. Ha. I wish someone had told me a long time ago to have EVERY SINGLE THING ready by week 34. Then I’d have weeks to just put my feet up and get cozy with Netflix. Ahh…that would be so nice right now. Instead I’m trying to get my to-do list finished. Which is proving to be rather gruelling seeing that I can’t do any one thing for very long. But the essentials are taken care of. We have diapers, clothes, a car seat and a place to Little Nixon to sleep. And a new slow cooker. We’d be okay if he decided to make his entrance into the world this very day. (Knock, knock. Hey baby, you’re welcome to make your appearance if you’re ready! No, really, it’s super awesome out here. I promise!)

I am super thankful for Bob’s formula for women iron supplement. Since I’ve been taking it, the incredible fatigue I was suffering from has dissipated. We also hired a house cleaner, both for a deep clean of some areas, like the kitchen (OMG how did it get so dirty??) and for regular cleaning, for at least a couple of months while we find a routine with the little one. We hired a gardener for this coming week too, to clean up the garden because it’s impossible for me to do any time soon. And of course I’m thankful that I’m on the home stretch. Just a little longer…

I also made a mommy friend. She is super nice and thoughtful, lives right in Maple Bay and has a four-month-old who is totally precious. So she doesn’t mind talking about pregnancy and babies all the time. And she likes to shop online so I’m sure we’ll be fast friends in no time. Honestly though, it’s really nice to have a friendly ear when all you want to do is whine and sigh about how much being nine months pregnant kind of sucks. Misery indeed loves company. And a cup of warm nettle tea.

Thanks for listening, my friends.

April 6, 2014 Pregnancy No Comments

My Life is About to Begin

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26 Week Bump

My belly at 26 weeks. While it might look a tad large, it’s not out of the ordinary and I’ve gained just 10 pounds. Everything is NORMAL, which doesn’t make for very exciting updates. Oh, except for the agonizing pain beside my belly button this little turd is causing me. But if I talk about it too much, it seems like I’m complaining. Jeez, I can handle the PGP and the FMS pain any day; this muscle spasm/tearing in my tummy is nearly unbearable. My movement is drastically restricted. The weekends have been *okay*, but work is really tough. I’m training my replacement (she’s so lovely and smart), so I’m soldiering out two more weeks if I can and then I’m out.

I have this idea floating around in my head that my life is about to begin. That sounds weird, obviously, and it’s sort of a blanket statement, since I’ve been living for 39 years and it’s been just fine. What I mean is, the LIFE I’ve been pining and aching for over the past few years. Hold on. That doesn’t mean being a mother. For about 98% of my life I had no intentions or thoughts of having babies. I think it’s that with all of this change, I am going to be much more conscious than ever about my decisions, about how I’m shaping my life, about what I am creating for myself and my family.

Like, I’m going to dance a lot more. In fact, I’m going to dance right now while my second cup of coffee is warming up in the microwave.

Do-da-da-do-doooo-da-doooo… Yeah that feels good.

I’m looking forward to all of the wonderful learning experiences coming my way. Something I see a lot of with new parents is letting go. Letting go of the worry about things that don’t really matter. Letting go of that mental chatter. What’s important comes into a much sharper focus. For me, that’ll be baby, family, and creating a career that is suits my lifestyle. And just simply creating a lot more, even if the finished product kind of sucks.

Knit Headwarmer

Over the holidays I knitted a head warmer. With my own two hands. It ain’t fancy and it’s only a basic knit stitch, but I did it and it feels freaking awesome. Damn, if I can make a human, I can knit. If I practice (knitting, not making humans), I’ll be able to knit well. Bring it on.

Back to the belly to end this post. He’s a feisty one—still bootin’ and bashin’ me and I’m loving all of it. See, someone I know, not very well, but a woman I admire and respect a lot, had a horrifying end to her pregnancy this week. I can’t imagine how much emotional pain she has been going through and will continue to suffer before the healing can begin. So for all the pain, for every sleepless night, for all the sacrifices, I am at heart utterly grateful I have a healthy baby inside and that my pregnancy has been fairly easy so far.

We are extremely blessed in so many ways. Many many many thanks to the universe.

January 19, 2014 Personal No Comments